my authentic self, on life and its highlights

Sunday, December 30, 2012

Gue nulis postingan ini di tanggal 31 Desember 2012, hari Senin, yang berarti nanti malem adalah malem tahun baru. Biasanya tiap tahun gue gak pernah secara khusus bikin atau ikut semacam perayaan atau countdown atau something like that. Celebration terakhir gue adalah di 2011 bareng temen-temen SMA di rumahnya @armyalidrus, bakar-bakar ayam dan jagung di halaman rumahnya sambil ketawa-ketiwi seru mengingat waktu itu kita ga lama lagi bakal pisah buat kuliah. Tapi, well, despite new year only means a change of calendar for me, it is still a good time to make a fresh start, dan tentunya momen untuk mengevaluasi diri.

Seperti postingan highlights tahun lalu, gue akan membagi postingan ini ke dalam beberapa bagian. Bahkan tahun ini highlights-nya gue kasih judul seperti di atas: Friendship, Passion, and Scherbatsky. Dan ini baru bagian intro. Yah, lebay memang, tapi highlights of the year setiap tahunnya adalah salah satu tulisan istimewa yang memang gue planning dengan matang. Tujuannya, selain jadi evaluasi untuk diri sendiri, juga untuk inspire orang-orang yang baca (kalo emang ada yang ter-inspire, kalo ga yasuds).

Di intro ini, gue cuma akan cerita tentang outlook dari apa yang udah gue lewati sepanjang tahun. 2012 adalah salah satu tahun berat bagi gue. Tapi, you know, di balik semua-muanya yang susah, sulit, sedih, dan memberatkan pasti lebih banyak kesenangan, because life is a whole balance thing, right? Nah, di 2012 ini, despite every challenges and problems, I somehow discover friendship and finally be able to pursue my passion. So that's what makes the title: friendship and passion. But what about Scherbatsky?

Pretty Canadian


Ga banyak yang tahu kalo gue punya semacam tema untuk resolusi 2012 gue dulu. Temanya adalah: FOLLOW ROBIN SCHERBATSKY. Pasti pada tahu kan tokoh Robin di serial How I Met Your Mother. I have always admired her. Cantik, pinter, successful news anchor, career-oriented woman, dan most of all, the exact portrait of feminism nowadays. Kenapa Robin?

Waktu awalnya gue bikin resolusi 2012, gue ngerasa di tahun 2011 gue terlalu santai dan terlalu laying back. Intinya gue ga terlalu produktif dan spent too much time mager-ing. Terus pas gue mulai bikin resolusi, gue mau lebih serius di 2012. Maka dari itu, gue butuh semangat feminisme-nya Robin (choose career over love or that kind of stuff). Bukan berarti terus gue ga mau menikah dan ga mau punya anak ya, tapi tema resolusi itu gue buat supaya gue selalu inget kalo hal utama di 2012 haruslah tentang developing myself.

And did I succeed? I guess I did, lumayanlah. Mulai dari hal paling kecil kayak rutin ngeblog udah berhasil gue capai, sesuatu yang gak pernah bisa gue lakuin di 2011 dan tahun-tahun sebelumnya. I read more books and watch more movies, that is also an achievement. Gue ga stuck sama those psycho mystery novels lagi tapi mulai merambah ke novel-novel metropop Indonesia, The Hunger Games trilogy. I spend more money for cinema. I am opening myself to every kind of genres.

Those are the small things. The big things are, I finally be able to make some of my dreams come true. The details will be explained in the later post, but spilling it a bit, gue akhirnya bisa menyebut diri gue "penulis". Penulis yang penulis, bukan cuma aspiring writer. Well, I haven't published a book yet, tapi I got a job as a writer and like the cliche quote, what's better than being paid for something you love to do?

Lucunya ya, setelah gue bekerja dengan keras di 2012, I ended up having more fun than 2011. Seperti yang gue bilang, life is a whole balance thing. When I work harder, I need more leisure. When I work harder, I think I deserve more leisure. Dan in the end gue sadar, following Robin Scherbatsky bukan berarti putting career or the serious stuffs over everything. Toh Robin tiap malem juga nongkrong di McLaren. It is about knowing what to do, when and where to do it, especially whom to do it with.

But there's one more important "W", which is Why. I guess it is very much essential to ask ourselves the urgency of doing something. So, in 2012, I kept asking myself, why am I doing this? Dan salah satu  indikator pencapaian gue adalah whether gue berhasil menjawab pertanyaan itu. "Because it's always been my dream..." or "because this is important.." or simply "because I deserve having fun..."

Sunday, December 16, 2012

How Do You Live?

Ask me "How do you live?" and I will answer you like this...

I live by the moments I stare at the cinema screen, captivated by the beautiful scenes.
I live from the pages of books I read, meaningful stories I will never forget.

I live from the laughs I hear, every time the people I love are near.
I live by the salty tears that come out when my heart is broken, hard.

I live from the gentle touch of my Dad's, Mom's, and little sisters' lovely hands.
I live by those money, anyway, those that my parents sincerely give away.

I live from the investment I make, in education, in business, in friendship.

I live by giving.
I live by loving and being loved.
I live by accepting that people grows apart, live by letting go.

I live from the countless hours of sleepless nights I spend for either writing or discussing life philosophies.
I live from the silence, the moment of truth when I'm just sitting on my bed alone, recalling memories I've been through.

I live by the thoughts of future and the uncertainty that surrounds it.
I live from pain and sickness and days I spend to overcome them.
I live by the hours in the car, train, bus, or plane.
I live from those spirit-regaining delicious meals.

Finally, if you ask me "Tell me How Do You Live in a sentence!", I will answer..

I live simply by living, feeling alive, and not going back.

So, how do you live?

A Synthesist by Nature

My photo
22 tahun. Writer and Content Strategist. I cry watching either romcom or gore.