Falling in love is easy. Doing it the right way is not.

Is polarizing people worth it?

Fitting in is never the purpose, said my naive self, often, especially when my introversion trait encounters a scene I am not comfortable with--networking session, birthday party, family gatherings.

A year ago I watched a TED talk from Guy Kawasaki, the guy from Apple. He said that "great ideas polarize people". I can never forget what he said.

His point: if an idea is great, then it will polarize people--it will divide people into either lover or hater of that idea. So when making great idea or product, one shouldn't be afraid of being hated. If an idea is great, aside from the haters, it will have die-hard fans who will worship and defend the idea.

I couldn't forget what Guy Kawasaki said because I came to realize that the principle also applies to people. Not only great ideas--great people also (are supposed to) polarize people.

If one is being oneself, then it is certain one can not please everybody. One could be too talkative or too reserved, too stupid or too smart, too rich or too poor, too beautiful or too ugly--never be right in the eyes of people who just don't get oneself.

That's the idea of being yourself, of opening up: to polarize people from the start.





But lately I've been thinking...

Is polarizing people worth it?

Is showing your true self from the start really doing you any good?

Or does it actually drive people away--people who could've been meaningful to you if you just tone down a little bit?

I started this post with a belief that I've been holding on to my whole life: fitting in is never the purpose. But my 22-year-old self is starting to doubt the only value I've always believed my whole life.

What if... compromising your true self actually will make life better?

What if... (this is the worst part) there is no true self, that true self is just our mind doing the constructivism thing? That some humans simply love to claim a very specific identity for themselves that they pride themselves of not belonging in this world?





What if your identity, your true self, is just something you make your mind to believe? What if you actually, with a little manipulation toward your brain, can actually fit in and have a better life compared to a life of not belonging?





But.

Even if we can.

Do we want to?

Do you want to?

Do I want to?





Is polarizing people worth it?

Maybe it's not.

But I don't want to please everyone, anyway.

Current Favorite Song

8 Truths of Growing Up

1) You have to work your ass off. There is no shortcut.

2) You will eventually come to realize that you're not that smart. It is possible to be the dumbest person in the room.

3) People that you love and trust the most will someday question you.

4) There will be days when you can't even afford a 50 cents bottled water.

5) Not listening to people's opinions about you becomes easier over time.

6) A solid friendship is a solid friendship even though you and your friends barely meet.

7) You actually care more about your health.

8) Soulmates do not exist. Relationships are pure constant learning and hard work.