Love and Other Drugs

Oke. Postingan ini sama sekali bukan tentang filmnya Jake Gyllenhaal dan Anne Hathaway yang gak pernah selesai gue tonton karena terlalu vulgar itu. Ini juga bukan postingan tentang gue yang sedang jatuh cinta atau apalah itu namanya tergila-gila. Sebelum gue meneruskan bagian kedua highlight 2012 gue, ada baiknya gue menulis sebuah selingan yang merepresentasikan random thoughts gue.

Woohoo...

You know, since I adore the beauty of words, I always like quotations. Life quotes, wise quotes, sarcastic quotes, but most of all, love quotes. Dan belakangan ini gue banyak banget nemu quote-quote cinta yang menurut gue gak shallow dan superficial tapi very much real dan pantes untuk diulas (ceilah diulas).

Most of the quotes featured in this post is taken from Ika Natassa's Twivortiare.

..you know when a couple just started dating. they'd do anything to avoid the silence between them? They'd keep trying to find topics to talk about to minimize the awkward silence. Because awkward silence drives each one to overthink of what the other one is thinking. "Kok dia diem aja, ya?" or "Gue tadi salah ngomong apa?" But as you both grow up in the relationship, you will come to a point where being around each other tanpa harus ngobrol is okay and normal.

Nah, bener banget gak sih? Gue selalu mengkategorikan relationship ke dalam 2 jenis: yang riil sama yang gak. Yang gak riil itu semacam cinta-cinta monyetnya ABG dan hubungan-hubungan yang very much superficial kayak pacaran-pacaran labil. Hubungan yang riil adalah semacam husband-wife relationship yang punya aksi nyata, kayak misalnya lo sakit, terus pasangan lo ga ngomong apa-apa dan langsung beliin obat. Bukan bullshit stuffs like: "Sayang, kamu sakit? Ya ampun, istirahat ya, cepet sembuh. Inget aku aja pasti kamu ga bakal sakit deh." Walaupun gak bisa dipungkirin hal-hal macam itu juga dibutuhkan, but I prefer the previous one.

Quote di atas adalah salah satu contoh relationship riil, di mana lo udah menemukan comfort dan gak bakal ada lagi yang namanya awkward silence. Like you just sit beside each other and do your own activity without having to think shits like "Apa gue ngebosenin banget, ya?". Here's another quote:

...it's impossible for us to find a perfect spouse if we model him/her toward someone, atau toward our own sets of criteria. The world just doesn't work that way. We're not God yang bisa bikin orang sempurna, sesuai dengan semua yang kita mau. But we can try to find someone that just works. That when you and that someone are together, you both just work..."

Jadi kalau udah ketemu yang sayang sama lo, lo sayang sama dia, both of you can work things out together, and it feels right (not perfect)...ya udah.

You should love someone inspite of, not because of.

Gue senyum-senyum waktu baca paragraf di atas di Twivortiare. Isn't it true? Isn't it real? Isn't relationship simply that way? Nah ini ada satu lagi yang S A B I banget...

... sometimes in a relationship, we have to stop paying too much attention to details and just rely on the big picture. And in your case, the big picture is that he loves you. What matters is that he loves me. No matter how dysfunctional this relationship is.

Ngebaca quote di atas gue serasa lagi belajar manajemen. See the big picture and repeat the mantra, lihat gambar besarnya.

Lalu, gue juga dapet ungkapan bagus dari Emily, salah satu fansnya Taylor Swift, yang baru aja nulis Open Letter for Taylor Swift setelah break-up nya dia dengan Harry Styles. Gue dapet dari @HuffPostWomen tadi malem.

Love is not a feeling. Attraction is a feeling. Love is a choice. It's work, commitment, and sacrifice.

Jadi gitu ya, teman-teman. You should be able to differ between love and attraction. Apa yang lo rasakan waktu lo baru pertama kali naksir seseorang atau the so-called-butterflies-in-my-stomach itu cuma attraction.  It will never turn to a crazy little thing called L.O.V.E if you don't choose to. Kalo lo gak punya willingness to make it work, is not ready for committment, dan gak mau berkorban, that's not love. That's simply an attraction menyamar jadi cinta.

Peopel often don't fall in love, Dear fellas, they just love the idea of falling in love. Dan ada satu quote terakhir dari temen gue sendiri @radithadjie, yang kadang bijaknya minta ampun. :))

I asked him once "Why am I always stupid and weak when it comes to these (love and dating) stuffs?"

And he replied to me, "No, Ca. Everybody comes to the maximal level of stupidity when they face these things. It's fine."

So, people, when you find you being stupid, just forgive yourself :)

Friendship, Passion, and Scherbatsky: The Highlight 1

I'm in the mood (and in the right time) to continue writing the 2012 highlights. Yah mungkin agak telat due to the exam week and stuffs, tapi akhirnya here I am sitting on my bedroom, pouring out everything.

Di 2012 ini, at least ada 3 hal yang jadi main highlights. Pertama, adalah my Samsung scholarship.

Jadi ceritanya, Samsung Indonesia is in their first pilot year buat kasih beasiswa ke mahasiswa tingkat 2. Emang namanya rezeki, jadi yang dikasih beasiswa sama Samsung ini cuma 5 orang dari Fasilkom UI dan 2 orang dari kampus gue, Prasmul. The Student Engangement chose like 20 people from my batch to join the selection and we had four selection stages. Pertama, 20 orang itu harus seleksi CV. 10 orang yang lolos seleksi CV kemudian ikut semacam psikotes tertulis dan diambil 6 orang dengan nilai tertinggi buat lanjut personal interview dan focus group discussion.

Waktu interview, Mbak Widi, bagian HR-nya Samsung menanyakan berbagai macam pertanyaan, seperti rencana karir gue, achievement terbesar gue, dan lain-lain. Gue bilang waktu itu gue mau kerja di perusahaan marketing research dan dalam 10 tahun ke depan, gue melihat diri gue bakal udah married dan (maybe) have my own research company. Lalu tentang achievement, gue bilang achievement terbesar gue yang paling baru adalah waktu gue jadi semifinalis lomba Newscasting-nya Asian English Olympics. Alasannya adalah karena waktu itu gue bener-bener first-timer dan newbie banget untuk dunia newscasting. That was the first time I really fought to learn and I made it to semifinal.

Mbak Widi juga nanya how does it feel to live far away from your parents for the first time. I told her, it was hard in the beginning. Aneh aja kalo setiap pagi lo bangun selalu ada suara bokap-nyokap dan adik-adik perempuan lo yang lucu lalu all of the sudden lo bangun sendirian di kosan. The first three months were hard, but then I survived (gue bener-bener nyebut kata survive waktu wawancara). Gue emang selalu berusaha jujur dan blak-blakan kalo wawancara dan sebisa mungkin menghindari jual diri terlalu murah, tanpa melepaskan kesan bahwa gue "truly want this".

Singkat cerita, ternyata 6 kandidat itu semuanya memenuhi kualifikasi untuk masuk tahap seleksi terakhir yaitu presentasi. Lo harus presentasi di depan orang-orang HR-nya Samsung tentang "Why I Should be Awarded the Scholarship".

Gue selalu suka cerita tentang diri gue, either gue narsis atau simply suka bercerita. Terakhir gue presentasi tentang diri gue adalah waktu tugas Sungai Kehidupan-nya mata kuliah Personal Development di semester 1. Gue seneng kalo orang mengenal gue dari perspektif yang gue angkat sendiri. I have to admit that I did work hard for the presentation, so I deserve it. Mau tau apa yang gue tampilkan di presentasi gue?

Yup. I put that watdefak scene from Kick-Ass. I didn't know why, I just knew that I had to put a shocking video, dan gue dengan random mencari potongan-potongan scene dari film-film favorit gue di YouTube. Kick-Ass has always been my favorite badass superhero movie.

Was it relevant with the content? Oyeah, I somehow figured out a way to connect them. Intinya gue bilang bahwa apa yang terjadi di scene itu, Big Daddy shoot his own daughter to make her feel the pain, adalah filosofi yang mendasari hidup gue selama ini.  Bahwa gak ada yang perlu ditakutin. Kalaupun ada yang akan menyakiti gue, it will only hurt me for a second. Dan even if the force gonna take me off my feet, it will really be no more painful than a punch in the chest.

Setelah itu, gue masuk ke poin kenapa gue pantes dapetin beasiswa itu. I told the Samsung guys that I am a highly commited person. Gue sebelumnya nge-search keyword "commitment" di gambar Google dan gue dapet quote bagus yang gue pake di presentasi. Commitment is when you're screwed up but you're too stubborn to care. Cool gak? Hahaha.

Lalu satu term yang gue bikin pas presentasi, sangat sangat gue suka, dan masih gue pake sampe sekarang adalah "I'm not stupidly ambitious". I said that to the them, bahwa gue adalah orang yang extraordinarily passionate. I do what I love, I love what I do. I don't take opportunities just because I want to impress people or add something to my CV. Simple things lah, I write, I watch movies. Gue hidup dengan itu setiap hari.

Straight to the end, di akhir presentasi gue bilang "I have explained to all of you why I should be awarded the scholarship, but maybe people will ask me, why actually do you want the scholarship.." Dan seperti biasa gue memakai senjata paling ampuh gue: SELF-ACTUALIZATION. Gue bilang kalo alasan utama gue ngejar beasiswa ini bukan untuk menambah achievement, dan bahkan bukan untuk bikin orangtua gue bangga, tapi lebih ke how from time to time I have to make me feel good about myself. Bahwa gue bisa fight dan mendapatkan apa yang gue pantas dapatkan.

Enough with the first highlight, gue harap gue gak kelihatan show-off, karena memang tujuan blog ini adalah untuk keep record dari track kehidupan gue aja. When you guys read this, I just hope it will be inspiring even if it's as tiny as what it could be. :)

That Fat Girl is Shaking Hand with the Managing Director