Love S01E09

Gus: What's up?

Mickey: Well, I don't know. What's up? I thought we had a good time the other night. Did we not have a good time?

Gus: Yeah, no, totally. We totally did.

Mickey: Then why are you being so mean to me? Did I do something? Could you just tell me what I did? And then I'll leave you alone. I'll go away.

Gus: Okay. Well, first of all, you showed up unannounced again, you know? You did it last night at my house and now you're doing it at my job. So I don't know what you're expecting my reaction to be. Like, you want it to be positive? I mean--

Mickey: I'm just picking up on what you put down. I mean, we had sex two days ago. Do you not remember that?

Gus: Okay. Yeah.

Mickey: We had sex and you turn into this huge dick.

Gus: What about you, you know? You're pretending to, like, be this, like, cool girl, you know, who doesn't follow the rules of how things go, but then we have sex, and then you immediately become like every other lame girl who, like, gets clingy and won't give a guy space. Okay?

Mickey: Surprise! I'm not the cool girl, okay? I'm not just some girl that you can fuck for a while to prove to yourself that you can be dangerous and edgy, and you're not some huge dork, and then you go off and marry whatever boring lady.

Gus: Okay, so that's what I am to you then, I'm just this fucking dork who you fuck and then you can feel like you're getting your life together cause you're fucking a nice guy and you're not fucking a piece of shit anymore, okay?

Mickey: No! No!

Gus: Don't make me that guy, okay?

Mickey: I like you! And you can't handle it. And guess what? Everything I'm doing right now, if you liked me, you would be so into it.

Gus: Oh, whatever. No.

Mickey: You would love it if some girl just showed up at your work

Gus: No! I wouldn't. No. Because this job is important to me, okay? And just because, like, you're okay with, like, fucking up your life, doesn't mean you can just come in and fuck up my life!

Mickey: Ooh. Wow, you're mean. Do you know that?

Gus: Oh, I'm the mean one?

Mickey: You're actually a really mean person.

Gus: You're the mean one.

Mickey: No, you're a huge prick. You pretend to be nice and that's worse. I am who I am. I'm not pretending to be anything.

If this is 2012, I would move mountains for people. But I've known enough to invest all eggs only in one basket: myself.