Love and Other Drugs

Oke. Postingan ini sama sekali bukan tentang filmnya Jake Gyllenhaal dan Anne Hathaway yang gak pernah selesai gue tonton karena terlalu vulgar itu. Ini juga bukan postingan tentang gue yang sedang jatuh cinta atau apalah itu namanya tergila-gila. Sebelum gue meneruskan bagian kedua highlight 2012 gue, ada baiknya gue menulis sebuah selingan yang merepresentasikan random thoughts gue.

Woohoo...

You know, since I adore the beauty of words, I always like quotations. Life quotes, wise quotes, sarcastic quotes, but most of all, love quotes. Dan belakangan ini gue banyak banget nemu quote-quote cinta yang menurut gue gak shallow dan superficial tapi very much real dan pantes untuk diulas (ceilah diulas).

Most of the quotes featured in this post is taken from Ika Natassa's Twivortiare.

..you know when a couple just started dating. they'd do anything to avoid the silence between them? They'd keep trying to find topics to talk about to minimize the awkward silence. Because awkward silence drives each one to overthink of what the other one is thinking. "Kok dia diem aja, ya?" or "Gue tadi salah ngomong apa?" But as you both grow up in the relationship, you will come to a point where being around each other tanpa harus ngobrol is okay and normal.

Nah, bener banget gak sih? Gue selalu mengkategorikan relationship ke dalam 2 jenis: yang riil sama yang gak. Yang gak riil itu semacam cinta-cinta monyetnya ABG dan hubungan-hubungan yang very much superficial kayak pacaran-pacaran labil. Hubungan yang riil adalah semacam husband-wife relationship yang punya aksi nyata, kayak misalnya lo sakit, terus pasangan lo ga ngomong apa-apa dan langsung beliin obat. Bukan bullshit stuffs like: "Sayang, kamu sakit? Ya ampun, istirahat ya, cepet sembuh. Inget aku aja pasti kamu ga bakal sakit deh." Walaupun gak bisa dipungkirin hal-hal macam itu juga dibutuhkan, but I prefer the previous one.

Quote di atas adalah salah satu contoh relationship riil, di mana lo udah menemukan comfort dan gak bakal ada lagi yang namanya awkward silence. Like you just sit beside each other and do your own activity without having to think shits like "Apa gue ngebosenin banget, ya?". Here's another quote:

...it's impossible for us to find a perfect spouse if we model him/her toward someone, atau toward our own sets of criteria. The world just doesn't work that way. We're not God yang bisa bikin orang sempurna, sesuai dengan semua yang kita mau. But we can try to find someone that just works. That when you and that someone are together, you both just work..."

Jadi kalau udah ketemu yang sayang sama lo, lo sayang sama dia, both of you can work things out together, and it feels right (not perfect)...ya udah.

You should love someone inspite of, not because of.

Gue senyum-senyum waktu baca paragraf di atas di Twivortiare. Isn't it true? Isn't it real? Isn't relationship simply that way? Nah ini ada satu lagi yang S A B I banget...

... sometimes in a relationship, we have to stop paying too much attention to details and just rely on the big picture. And in your case, the big picture is that he loves you. What matters is that he loves me. No matter how dysfunctional this relationship is.

Ngebaca quote di atas gue serasa lagi belajar manajemen. See the big picture and repeat the mantra, lihat gambar besarnya.

Lalu, gue juga dapet ungkapan bagus dari Emily, salah satu fansnya Taylor Swift, yang baru aja nulis Open Letter for Taylor Swift setelah break-up nya dia dengan Harry Styles. Gue dapet dari @HuffPostWomen tadi malem.

Love is not a feeling. Attraction is a feeling. Love is a choice. It's work, commitment, and sacrifice.

Jadi gitu ya, teman-teman. You should be able to differ between love and attraction. Apa yang lo rasakan waktu lo baru pertama kali naksir seseorang atau the so-called-butterflies-in-my-stomach itu cuma attraction.  It will never turn to a crazy little thing called L.O.V.E if you don't choose to. Kalo lo gak punya willingness to make it work, is not ready for committment, dan gak mau berkorban, that's not love. That's simply an attraction menyamar jadi cinta.

Peopel often don't fall in love, Dear fellas, they just love the idea of falling in love. Dan ada satu quote terakhir dari temen gue sendiri @radithadjie, yang kadang bijaknya minta ampun. :))

I asked him once "Why am I always stupid and weak when it comes to these (love and dating) stuffs?"

And he replied to me, "No, Ca. Everybody comes to the maximal level of stupidity when they face these things. It's fine."

So, people, when you find you being stupid, just forgive yourself :)