Dear sisters,
Today you are young. Doesn't mean that I'm already old. But one day you'll grow and see how young you are now.
Talking about ambition, you must have known what this word means. Trust me, you don't need to open Merriam-Webster--to find that the dictionary meaning for 'ambition' is 'an ardent desire for rank, fame, or power'--to understand the meaning. You can feel it.
Ambition for people as young as you is most likely to be simple. How to be the smartest student at school. How to win that drawing competition you've been preparing yourself for months. And often, it is as shallow and superficial as ambition to date the most handsome guy in your class.
And then you succeed. You get it. You reach your ambition, your desire. You know how sweet winning is when you carry that trophy with your teammates, or when your being called upon an announcement gives you an exciting butterflies-in-my-stomach feeling, or when you can finally tell your girlfriends 'this guy's mine’.
But remember, as you grow up, ambition will no longer be that simple. Ambition is now about being on the Fortune's Most Powerful Woman in the World list. It is about getting your dream job, working your ass off to compete with all those same ambitious and brilliant people. You are not even looking for the most handsome guy in your class anymore. Instead, you are looking for a husband material, a man so powerful and outstanding you can show him off in front of other wives. And some of them, some of those ambitions, require more than hard works.
And most of the times, you will fail. First time you fail it will hurt you like your chest is stabbed with a knife over and over. And then you think, this is a good sign. It means I'm trying, it means I'm pushing my limit, just like those cliche quotations always say. And then you experience failures over and over again. You're getting used to it. But failures, my dear, are like broken heart. It is always the same painful all the time. You just learn to teach your brain to block it.
Every time you fail, you will lie on your bed while staring at the ceiling, thinking, asking and analyzing what's wrong? What did I do wrong? And all those sucks "what ifs" questions popping out in your mind.
Here's what I'm going to tell you, dear sisters. Evaluating yourself and your mistakes is important. But there is a far more important, fundamental question you have to ask yourself: "Do I really want it?”.
Let's go back to that time when you are reaally young. Why did you want to be the smartest student at school? Because you want to make Mom and Dad proud (a cliche answer for most people), because A+ can bring you a bright future, OR, probably when you just enter college you will innocently say, "because it looks good in my CV”.
Just like I said, as you grow older (and hopefully, more mature), ambition is becoming more complicated. Sometimes you don't know what you are pursuing or even why you are pursuing that thing. What you simply know is you have to. Or because all your friends do.
My advice to you, dear sisters, is if you still can not find the true, honest, meaningful answer of the "Do I really want it?" question, think again. Do not be some stupid go-getter only because those mainstream people around you tell you to do it. Do not feel as if life has always to be busy. For God's sake, YOU NEED TIME TO THINK. You need time to lie back, read a few good fictions and probably go see a romcom, before you go back to your desk and draw a mind map to analyze what the true, honest, and meaningful answer you have.
And after you are sure, completely sure that this thing you are pursuing is something your own self truly wants, then go for it. Go get what you really desire. I'm not saying you must not stop. I'm saying that, every time you fail and you're tired, do that lying-back thing again. In every checkpoint in your life, always ask yourself the same question.
And when someday you feel tired and you just can't handle it anymore, STOP. Grandpa told me to stop when I'm tired. I will not say life is not about achieving, because it is. But achieving takes different forms for different people. And if you are tired in one thing, the world is too huge for you to stop pursuing other things.
But when you know you can't stop, when you know you must not stop despite all those exhaustion, then as I said, go for it. Get up when you fail. You read all those stories and books about successful people. And as cliche as they might be, they are all true. Success and greatness is defined by your reaction to setbacks. Period. Period.
And when you fail and you ask me for advice, I will definitely tell you this:
"You have to be responsible for your choice.”
Then you can ask me, "What choice?" and I will answer:
"The choice to strive and soar instead of staying still.”
14 June 2013, the oldest one in the family.
Today you are young. Doesn't mean that I'm already old. But one day you'll grow and see how young you are now.
Talking about ambition, you must have known what this word means. Trust me, you don't need to open Merriam-Webster--to find that the dictionary meaning for 'ambition' is 'an ardent desire for rank, fame, or power'--to understand the meaning. You can feel it.
Ambition for people as young as you is most likely to be simple. How to be the smartest student at school. How to win that drawing competition you've been preparing yourself for months. And often, it is as shallow and superficial as ambition to date the most handsome guy in your class.
And then you succeed. You get it. You reach your ambition, your desire. You know how sweet winning is when you carry that trophy with your teammates, or when your being called upon an announcement gives you an exciting butterflies-in-my-stomach feeling, or when you can finally tell your girlfriends 'this guy's mine’.
But remember, as you grow up, ambition will no longer be that simple. Ambition is now about being on the Fortune's Most Powerful Woman in the World list. It is about getting your dream job, working your ass off to compete with all those same ambitious and brilliant people. You are not even looking for the most handsome guy in your class anymore. Instead, you are looking for a husband material, a man so powerful and outstanding you can show him off in front of other wives. And some of them, some of those ambitions, require more than hard works.
And most of the times, you will fail. First time you fail it will hurt you like your chest is stabbed with a knife over and over. And then you think, this is a good sign. It means I'm trying, it means I'm pushing my limit, just like those cliche quotations always say. And then you experience failures over and over again. You're getting used to it. But failures, my dear, are like broken heart. It is always the same painful all the time. You just learn to teach your brain to block it.
Every time you fail, you will lie on your bed while staring at the ceiling, thinking, asking and analyzing what's wrong? What did I do wrong? And all those sucks "what ifs" questions popping out in your mind.
Here's what I'm going to tell you, dear sisters. Evaluating yourself and your mistakes is important. But there is a far more important, fundamental question you have to ask yourself: "Do I really want it?”.
Let's go back to that time when you are reaally young. Why did you want to be the smartest student at school? Because you want to make Mom and Dad proud (a cliche answer for most people), because A+ can bring you a bright future, OR, probably when you just enter college you will innocently say, "because it looks good in my CV”.
Just like I said, as you grow older (and hopefully, more mature), ambition is becoming more complicated. Sometimes you don't know what you are pursuing or even why you are pursuing that thing. What you simply know is you have to. Or because all your friends do.
My advice to you, dear sisters, is if you still can not find the true, honest, meaningful answer of the "Do I really want it?" question, think again. Do not be some stupid go-getter only because those mainstream people around you tell you to do it. Do not feel as if life has always to be busy. For God's sake, YOU NEED TIME TO THINK. You need time to lie back, read a few good fictions and probably go see a romcom, before you go back to your desk and draw a mind map to analyze what the true, honest, and meaningful answer you have.
And after you are sure, completely sure that this thing you are pursuing is something your own self truly wants, then go for it. Go get what you really desire. I'm not saying you must not stop. I'm saying that, every time you fail and you're tired, do that lying-back thing again. In every checkpoint in your life, always ask yourself the same question.
And when someday you feel tired and you just can't handle it anymore, STOP. Grandpa told me to stop when I'm tired. I will not say life is not about achieving, because it is. But achieving takes different forms for different people. And if you are tired in one thing, the world is too huge for you to stop pursuing other things.
But when you know you can't stop, when you know you must not stop despite all those exhaustion, then as I said, go for it. Get up when you fail. You read all those stories and books about successful people. And as cliche as they might be, they are all true. Success and greatness is defined by your reaction to setbacks. Period. Period.
And when you fail and you ask me for advice, I will definitely tell you this:
"You have to be responsible for your choice.”
Then you can ask me, "What choice?" and I will answer:
"The choice to strive and soar instead of staying still.”
14 June 2013, the oldest one in the family.
People that desperately have no focus like us really need to cut off several things that we do. sometimes as ambitious person we need to create our own success path. even if several people around us do the most popular options.
ReplyDeleteIndeed. Thay is exactly what I am trying to do in my life for the 3rd year in college. Cutting off a massive amount of activities to do what I truly care about like writing. There is a fear that I will feel bored and lonely and isolated from the main stream (you do understand, right?). But then I gotta face it.
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